icoulduseinsouciantmaybe: superhubbys: It’s gotten to the point where I have to pretend nudity surprises me. #OH NO GENITALS, WHAT A DISASTER.
babyferaligator: Studies show that if theres gonna be free food I will show up 100% of the time
tellerknowles: does anybody else have that friend that you’re pretty sure is your soulmate but in a friend way
the conceited hashtag on Instagram is the only entertainment ill ever need.
Like you can boss me around in sexual situations but you better not try to tell me what to do in regular life
tvaros: i love watching my innocent friends slowly transform into beautiful horny butterflies as we get older
stevenfresco: stevenfresco: it’s 2013 why can’t i delete friends in real life ok so it turns out what i was thinking of is called murder
person: do u want to hang out
me: i have to ask my mom
me: *doesn't ask her*
me: she said no
sazquatch: When I stopped giving a shit about male approval, I became about twice as confident in myself, and my insecurity levels went down substantially. 10/10 would recommend.
Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the...– N’tima (via kevinidentity)
foreveralone-lyguy: You don’t believe in evolution? How else would a charmander become a charizard
teawithaview: Have you ever started to check your tumblr in the middle of getting dressed and half an hour later you’re still standing in your underwear with one sock on and also 15 minutes late.
getting an 80% on a test in 8th grade: (loud wailing that lasts at least an hour followed by a sinking feeling of despair and uselessness)
getting an 80% on a test now: (power slides down the hall while singing the national anthem)
when hot celebs can sing it just makes them 129315496hsd12381 times more sexy
gaysexinchurch: how dare u have a better body than me when i don’t work out at all
illkim: I’m really good at flirting with people when I’m not interested in them
coolman229: okoenig: whats the difference between me and a calendar? a calendar has dates
theflowershop: do something every day to better yourself in mind and body. wake up early. watch the sunrise. spend time nurturing the values you hold close. be a good friend. call your grandparents. take your time in everything. breathe in and out. have respect for your surroundings. laugh at something silly. relax. you are alive, you are worthy, and you are capable - three things to never...
apatheticghost: what i learned from school im a fucking piece of shit everybody else is also a fucking piece of shit mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell
circumcising: circumcising: sexual orientation: sunburnt ice cream man
biologytextbook: a support group for people who began using popular slang ironically but now cannot stop
dalblue: amoying: friend’s parent: would you like something to drink? me: no thank you me inside: the thirst is real
indiandaughter: i’ll pay you $7 to have a crush on me